SLIDER

WELCOME

image
Self care, skin care,
& nurturing Mother Nature.

Read more here

Living life with good intention, loving with soul, searching for pure happiness & joy

Living with Dermatillomania



Happy Monday gang - I hope your week's start off on the right foot and you're feeling optimistic and full of motivation. Today I wanted to discuss with you all the fact that Mental Health Awareness Week is taking place this week (14th-20th May 2018) and as I took part in the campaign last year by sharing my story on what it's like living with anxiety, I thought I would carry on this new tradition and take part in MHAW again this year. I've said it many times before and I'll say it many times again, but openly discussing mental health is so important. It leads to accessibility, which leads to education, which leads to acceptance and understanding in society and that's what we all need a lot more of. This year, the Mental Health Foundation have focused their campaign on stress as, as they state:

"Research has shown that two thirds of us experience a mental health problem in our lifetimes, and stress is a key factor in this."

Two thirds is a staggering statistic. That means mental health is incredibly common and stress is undoubtedly an aspect of life that all of us have felt at some point. It can be a crippling experience in the workplace, in our home lives, in social settings, or even through self-deprecation or external influences. Stress is seemingly inescapable and it can be a catalyst for so many MH issues from anxiety and depression to self harm and suicide. That's why today I'm going to share with you how my stress can manifest itself in Dermatillomania.

Dermatillomania is a skin picking disorder and whilst many people pick at their skin from time to time *que that meme about pulling one tiny bit of skin around your finger nail and ripping off every part of you*, if you suffer from Dermatillomania, you just don't know when to stop. It is often placed into the same category as Trichotillomania (repetitive hair pulling) and generalised along side this similar disorder as being a "body-focused repetitive disorder". It is often viewed as a obsessive compulsive disorder and has been related to body dysmorphic disorder due to it being this excessively body-focused preoccupation by the individual carrying out the picking. There's many reasons why OCDs and Dermatillomania can become an issue for people and there's also many reasons behind why people find it difficult to stop picking.



I'm not entirely sure when my Dermatillomania really started to be that and not just me occasionally picking spots, but it's definitely something I have dealt with since college. Since around the age of 12/13, I've battled with acne all over my face, neck, shoulders, chest and back. I have talked about this *so* many times on the blog but this has definitely been the root of my skin picking and I think unfortunately, always will be. At college I would wear heavy thick foundations all over my face but also all over my chest if I wasn't wearing a high neck top because I was so ashamed of my skin's condition. I would pick at my acne every evening to try to create a smoother, less red and noticeable surface texture but of course, that never really worked out in the long run. Nowadays I'm pleased to say my acne has gotten so much better and I feel almost like a fraud to claim I have acne. Whilst it's has felt like a weight has been lifted as I don't have as many sore, completely confidence-crushing, spots visible on my skin, it's almost created more of a problem for my skin picking because I haven't got as many imperfections to pick but I pick anyway.

One of the worst things about Dermatillomania is that there is often no rhyme or reason to picking. Picking acne meant I almost had an excuse for my actions as I could challenge any questions by pointing out every whitehead or bump and showcasing them as my reasons why. But now if I'm having a good skin day or week, it tends to not last long because I'll start picking and cause stress to my skin so it will inevitably break out for me to carry on picking, or I will basically damage my skin through seeking something to pick. As I've continuously gotten less and less spots on my shoulders and chest over the last year or two especially, this has caused my Dermatillomania some distress as now I have to work extra hard at picking. I will literally sit and smooth my fingertips over my shoulders, chest, back, neck and face, hoping to hit a bump in the skin road that I can them squeeze and prune until I feel satisfied that I've "smoothed" out the imperfections. It has sometimes meant I've accidentally picked moles or freckles and caused them to bleed and I've sometimes cut or bruised my skin squeezing and scratching at simply nothing.



Actively picking doesn't just occur when I'm "searching" to smooth out my imperfections. I occasionally pick in my sleep and only realise upon waking up to see a small pool of blood or dried wounds on my face. I can sometimes reach a level of boredom and genuinely think "I could sit and pick and that might cure it". If I'm stressed at work, I will pick at my desk. If I'm feeling anxious on the train or out in public, or in a restaurant - I will pick. I don't have a filter with my picking and more often than not, I don't realise I'm doing it until a loved one says "stop picking". The worst part about it for me in a way is the fact that after I've went on a picking spree, I can feel really good as if I've accomplished something. This is always a little bit disheartening from me in a cool down period from it all because it means I've took some joy in harming myself and inflicting damage on my skin. In relatively recent years that has been something that has really stuck with me and is what has pushed me to want to seek help for it this year.

Oddly when I've spoken to people about this before, a few people have brushed it off like it isn't a real issue. As it is so self-inflicted and doesn't have a definite cause, it is almost hard for people to process and I've been asked before by colleagues why I don't just "snap out of it". Well sorry Susan, I simply can't. Now before anyone claims I'm not trying to help myself, trust me, I'm always trying. I got a large backpiece tattooed to stop me from picking as it would create a barrier I didn't want to destroy. I wear hair extensions, not just to thicken up my thin hair, but to also make it more difficult to search my scalp for any lumps and bumps I will inevitably pick and leave sore and exposed. I used to have incredibly long nails but now keep them short in the hopes that I make it more difficult to break the skin.



Options for Dermatillomania Sufferers
Unfortunately, there's often not a great deal that can be done about Dermatillomania generally. Most doctors will typically prescribe medication or send sufferers to therapy only if their skin picking is becoming dangerous (i.e. infectious, causing lasting damage etc.) but all is not lost! Cognitive Behavioural Therapy has worked for many people and has helped people stop picking so if that's an option for you, ask your GP about it. If not, or if you have not spoken to your doctor about the possibility of suffering with Dermatillomania, there's a few things you could do that I found can help me:

- Keep your nails cut short and ensure they are always clean so even if you manage to pick, you can lessen the chance of infection
- Keep your hands busy. If you're ever feeling stressed, nervous, agitated etc., have something to keep your hands occupied to try and distract your mind. Fidget toys can be great for this and are often used for stress relief, so keeping one at hand or in your pocket can help. Low on money? Use a piece of Blu Tac instead!
- If wearing makeup is an option for you, possibly try that. It might sound counter-productive as makeup tends to worsen the skin's condition, but whenever I have makeup on, it acts as a barrier so I don't want to pick as it will ruin it
- Meditation isn't for everyone and it's certainly not a "cure all", but meditation can help you suppress the urge to pick
- Try creating a log of when you pick. You could detail what time of day it was, what mood you were in, where you targeted, how long you picked for... Trying to find the trigger of when you pick the most can help a great deal in terms of managing your picking
- Lastly, I've been trying some of the NHS' advice recently and it seems to be having a positive effect. They suggest that you nourish and pamper your skin whenever you feel the urge to pick. I've been applying a face mask almost every evening (sometimes more than once in one evening) to stop me from wanting to pick and it has not only helped my acne so I pick that less, but also just helped with my picking in general

Get Involved in MHAW
Although Dermatillomania is often the result of my stress, there are of course many other issues stress can cause and stress even within itself is a terrible thing that unfortunately, so many of us deal with on a day to day basis. Mental Health Awareness Week is a great opportunity to get involved and share your stories, your tips and tricks that could help another individual, and simply helping raise awareness as the name of the campaign suggests. MHAW have a few other ways you can support the campaign - ranging from donations to fundraising - but you can also help by simply voicing your support. Stress is something that affects all of us, both directly and indirectly via our loved ones, so talk about it. Support others and receive support yourself at the same time.


Follow me on Bloglovin'
Twitter & Instagram xo

© NB • Theme by Maira G.